verbalejaculations:

I like to make up random facts that normally people wouldn’t believe, but they do because it’s coming from this innocent looking girl that only stands 5 feet high. It’s amazing what you can make people believe sometimes. Here’s a few:

“Did you know that in ancient Greece they used to slit the testicles of virgins and have the men suck out the blood as some sort of weird fertility rite?”

“Did you know that in certain tribes in Africa, women collect their menstrual fluid throughout the year and then drink it on the Autumnal Equinox?”

“Have you heard about all the gorillas dying lately?! Yeah, apparently there’s some weird gorilla flu going around and they’re all dropping like flies! The entire world’s gorilla population has already decreased by 60%! Google it!”

“Back in the 80s people used to fart into balloons, inhale it, and then take a shot. Apparently it makes the liquor way more potent, but it’s also really dangerous. That’s how John Bonham died I’m pretty sure.”

“Did you hear about Katy Perry!? She cut her thumb off! I know, it’s crazy. Apparently she decided to try acid and it was a bad idea, she couldn’t handle it or something. Yes, I’m serious!”